


META: Getting Medieval On Your Ass

by Elfwreck



Category: Multi-Fandom
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Essay, Kink, Meta, Other, Plotbunnies, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, low technology, nonfic, possibilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-17
Updated: 2010-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 08:18:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elfwreck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What were sex toys—especially <em>subtle</em> sex toys—like, before rubber and steel springs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	META: Getting Medieval On Your Ass

**Author's Note:**

> For the kink_bingo prompt, "Sex Toys (worn under clothing)". Originally [posted at notfic](http://notfic.dreamwidth.org/989.html).  
>  **Fandoms** : PotC, Elfquest, Cadfael, LotR, Discworld, more. Sort of. Apologies for the nifty low-tech fandoms I left out because I'm not familiar enough with them. This came out a lot longer than I expected.

When I think of sex toys under clothing (and may I mention how wonderful fandom is, that that can be the opening line of an essay?) the items that immediately come to mind are buttplugs and nipple clamps. Next are dildos, clit-stimulators, and remote-controlled vibrators of various sorts. I know that plenty of other options exist, including underclothes that constrain the body in specific ways (although those are only tangentially "toys") and arrangements of rope/cord (ditto), and if we get futuristic, all sorts of exotic technology is possible. (You wear the necklace and the linked cybergem, which is placed on your perineum. Every time the necklace moves too quickly, or someone breathes on it, it feels like you've been licked.)

High-tech sex toys under clothing: endless possibilities. But what about low-tech? When Sparrow and Norrington get their kink on, what do they have on under the breeches and poofy shirts? When Scouter wants Dewshine and Tyleet to think of him all day while he's out hunting, what does he ask them to wear under their leathers? When Brother Cadfael discovers evidence of "secret perversion devices" worn under monks' robes, what shapes do those devices have? When Duncan MacLeod decided he needed to learn to fight while distracted, what did he use to keep himself aroused? When Merry and Pippin were experimenting with sensations, what did they dare each other to wear? When Leonard of Quirm designs the Apparatus To Maintain Erotic Focus Even During Incredibly Boring Dinner Conversations, what does it look like? When Arthur discovers Merlin's mostly-naked, unconscious body, what did he need to hide by throwing his cloak over his friend?

(I promise this is an essay, not a plotbunny drop. However, if you wish to stop reading & go write those fics, be my guest. This'll still be here when you get back.) (**Ponders if k_b could be convinced that 25 plotbunnies = 1 fic.**)

In short: what were sex toys—especially _subtle_ sex toys—like, before rubber and steel springs?

I'm going to consider several issues:

  * Available materials,
  * Engineering tech level, 
  * Ingenuity of the characters, 
  * Special aspects of the fandom. 



  


##  Materials

Some materials are pretty much universally available: leather, bone, ivory, wood, stone. Cord of some sort is always available, although in very low-tech settings (ice age, crash landing on uninhabited planet), rope made of cloth fibers may not be. Vines, seeds/pits, and certain leaves all have potential as sex toys. Metal shows up early in human history, but precision tooling isn't widely available until much, much later. Glass, both man-made and natural volcanic, is available, but its sex-toy possibilities are limited. Pottery variants, including ceramic, fired clay, and terra cotta, are nearly universal above a certain level of primitiveness. And some fruits and vegetables are durable enough to survive more than momentary use as sex toys.

For low-tech equivalents of modern sex toys, leather is king. (Or queen?) It's strong, durable, flexible, can be soft, has a range of textures, and is universally available, from the lowest peasantry to the courts of emperors. It can be sewn, braided, or carved into all sorts of shapes. It can be stretched around a core of wood or filled with grain, depending on how much flexibility is desired. It can be waxed or oiled to be water-resistant (although not water-proof). Its biggest drawback is lack of hygiene—it really can't be sterilized—which is not a concern to most low-tech fandoms.

Leather has a well-known place in externally-visible sex gear: whips, crops, floggers, straps, masks, collars, chaps, boots, and so on. Some of those are adaptable to sex toys under clothing; some are not. Straps is the most obvious possibility—cock ties, G-strings, band across the nipples (with or without something under the leather to stimulate them). Dildos or plugs, which would have to specifically be made for the purpose, are also possible. A textured dildo could be made by knotwork: either a few thick straps braided together, or a dozen or more thin cords done as macramé work. It could be used as-is, with the thick braid being open, or a thin, replaceable sheath of leather could be placed over it to soften the bumps & make cleaning easier. A single piece of thick hide could be stretched around a wooden or metal mold in the shape of a butt plug, then packed with sand to create a device that's firm but not damaging to wear. A craftsman could make a vulva-cover for a particular woman, with straps to hold it in place, curved to fit the clefts of her thighs, molded with ridges exactly sized to her labia, with a pearl placed directly over her clit to rub when she walks.

Other low-tech materials all have problems (which is why we mostly abandoned them for rubber, latex & silicone as soon as we could), often having to do with how _hard_ they are. Wood, the easiest to carve  & least likely to break from being tapped too hard, is dangerous to leave in as a butt plug or dildo; while it can make a fine toy for solo or paired playing (albeit with similar hygiene problems to leather), it's problematic to wear under clothes; the chance of damaging internal muscles or organs is high, unless it's fairly small, or very carefully carved to exactly fit the body. Ceramic would be easier to make into a very specific shape, but is even less flexible, and has the additional danger that sitting down too hard on the wrong surface could break it—ouch! Ivory would be relatively easy to carve (while it's harder than wood, it's often easier to carve to a specific shape; the grain's less troublesome), can be sanded to silky-smoothness, and is a lot easier to clean than wood—but it's expensive and rare. Even if "ivory" is expanded to include things like "boar tusks," it's not easily available to everyone in a fandom.

The harder materials may have more potential as nipple stimulators than as insertion devices. A thin ceramic disc with bumps could be worn over the nipples, held in place either by straps or fitted inside the clothing of the era. A wooden set of concentric rings, laced together with cord, could fit over a woman's breasts or lie flat against a man's. A hidden metal breastplate would allow someone who knew it was there to apply heat, cold, or tapping to parts of it for extra stimulation.

Metal's hard to talk about as a material without getting into engineering and craftsmanship technologies. At the lowest tech levels, gold is available—gold can be found in rivers, and pounded into shape between smooth rocks. But everything else involves heat and special metal-working tools in addition to access to the metal itself. Wire, chain, molded pieces, flat sheets, and spheres all have possibilities for sex toys under clothing, but their use depends on what skills & machinery are available to the characters.

Hidden devices could be built from a number of plant- and animal-derived materials. Strings of pearls (or seeds, for characters who don't have access to pearls) tied to a hidden belt & running down the crack of the ass & around to the front. Cock-sheaths made of woven grass fibers like finger-catcher puzzles, or made of peyote-stitch seed beads. Peach pits sewn into a small leather bag & inserted in the rectum. Tagua nuts carved round & strung on a cord to act like ben-wa balls. Cowrie shells with the backs cut off, laced closely together and strapped tight over the breasts so they rub and pinch.

(If someone who reads this can never look at an acorn again without blushing, I consider this essay a success.)

Once you've decided what materials your characters might be using, you have to figure out how those materials can be used. For that, you need to know something about engineering methods, both what's generally available in the fandom, and what's specifically available to the characters.

##  Engineering

Very simple engineering includes cutting to shape, knot-tying, and smashing things flat. These are probably available in all fandoms, no matter how low-tech. More advanced engineering includes sewing, molding (pottery is the most obvious example), simple metalwork, detailed carving—access to textiles, paper, baskets, buttons, wire, dowels/bars, buckles, and various other devices too numerous to name. Most fandoms have these, but many are limited in how much access they have to them.

At some point in history, metal clips or clamps become available. However, customized sex toys weren't available until very recently, and most metal clips were built to hold very firmly indeed. Screw-based devices were available—but most that were built in human-applicable sizes were designed for torture, not play, which meant both a lack of "tease" instead of "hurt" functionality, and a lack of subtlety. They weren't designed to fit under clothing, and most characters in most low-tech fandoms won't be able to afford custom metalwork. The most likely metal nipple-stimulation device under clothing would be a piercing ring with a chain or weight attached.

Not every fandom has access to its entire world's technology, and certainly not every pairing has access to everything plausible in the fandom. When Norrington captures Sparrow and decides to teach him the meaning of frustration, he can't commission a jeweler to make a cock harness, even if he had the imagination to describe it. Nor is he likely to have a collection of leather buttplugs of varying sizes; shipboard life means traveling light—if he's really that kinky, he might have one, but not many. However, ships have plenty of straps, buckles, and oddly-shaped metal and wooden accoutrements, many of which are unknown to landlubbers. Historical and technical knowledge would come in handy for the details, and could make the history fans in the readership swoon. Or stand goggle-eyed in shock, which would probably be just as much fun for the author.

In Elfquest, Scouter has potential access to roughly stone age/early bronze age human technology—but the Wolfriders disdain that technology. While the Sun Villagers have pottery and metalsmithing, the Wolfriders do a limited amount of trading for metal tools, and otherwise use stone, bone, wood and leather. They don't get fancy with those; they live in homes magically shaped out of trees, hunt with bows and spears, and eat raw meat & fruit. Their enhanced senses, telepathy, magic, and near-immortality has made most technology irrelevant to them. Wolfrider sex toys would be very simple, and as their culture has no body shyness or sex shame, directly focused on stimulation, not humiliation or other headgames. A web of strategically-placed knots made of leather cord is likely the most complicated wearable sex-toy they'd have.

Sometimes, complexity has to consider not just the culture, but the specific setting established for the fic. Cadfael's Crusades-era monasteries are niche communities. They have much higher literacy than the general populace, and access to other cultures' ideas (albeit with firm warnings that all those ideas are inherently wrong), but less privacy, less wealth, and less personal time for experimentation. An iron cock ring is possible; a silver one is not. While a leather knotwork web is available, a monk isn't likely to be given enough private leisure time to make one, especially if it has to be re-tied for each use. However, monks might have access to the medical devices of the era, which a clever person might adapt to sexual purposes.

While the overall technology of Lord of the Rings is roughly equivalent to Crusades-era England, parts of it are much higher; the Elves and Dwarves both have craftsmanship comparable to much later human eras. Hobbits, however, are not known for great craftsmanship or access to exotic materials; Merry and Pippin would be limited to simple leather/metal/wood devices, and perhaps disposable toys made from carved vegetables. They might also carve wooden toys into several different shapes; the Shire's agrarian lifestyle has both time & privacy for personal experimentation. It's not hard to imagine Merry bringing his whittling knife on the ring quest, and carving new toys out of exotic (to him) woods and other materials he can't get at home—and then daring Pippin to wear them while they're hiking.

##  Character ingenuity

Another aspect to consider is the characters themselves. Some are considerably more prone to experimentation than others, and more likely to find alternative uses for everyday, mundane devices. For some characters, a silk scarf is maybe a blindfold, maybe a way to tie someone's wrists; for others, it's a quick-release cock-cage, just waiting for a few minutes of knot-tying expertise to give it shape.

The pirate who recognizes a blacksmith's giant gears as a way to cut shackles is used to considering all possible uses of an item, and might think of stuffing a glove's thumb and forefinger with candles and tying off the wrist, and might be persuasive enough to convince a woman to wear it for an evening. The blacksmith who instantly realizes how to apply leverage to open a jail cell might have the ingenuity to make a miniature, insertable bellows that blows a puff of air inside at every step. ( _Note to readers: this is seriously dangerous and doing it wrong can kill people. Leave this game for fictional characters._ ) However, the woman who thinks a pirate captain will negotiate with her as an equal, and only fears he might have poisoned her *after* she starts eating, may not consider a chain to have any use aside from securing one thing to another; she may not have the imagination to think about what it would feel like sliding along her skin inside a corset. (OTOH, "things that feel good under a corset" may be a pet obsession of hers. A good writer can justify almost any kink for almost any character.)

A monk raised in a monastery since childhood might not be able to think of anything more exotic than unapproved places to stuff prayer beads. Cadfael himself, however, might be more imaginative—he's visited the exotic lands to the east, and seen the depravities of the infidels in wartime. While he's sworn the same vows of poverty as the other monks, he could presumably have seen (and sampled; he was a soldier) almost anything available in the world in the twelfth century.

Discworld, especially, has a broad range of characters. They vary widely in intelligence, creativity, resources, experience, and inclination to try new experiences. A troll's idea of "sex toys under clothing" might be a jockstrap lined with sandpaper--the equivalent of velvet underwear, perhaps. Nanny Ogg might have an extensive collection of straps and harnesses--a woman who's borne and nursed several children has probably learned a thing or two about securing body parts so they only move the way you want them to. And nobody would be surprised if Vetinari could identify the purpose, and alternate uses, of every item in a modern BDSM club's dungeon. Carrot, however, might have trouble of thinking of "sex toy" as anything other than "a bed and some pillows." Leonard of Quirm, while hardly worldly, has an unending drive toward experimentation, at least on paper; if Rosy Palm asked him to design something "for my girls, when they're with one of those boring businessmen at their boring business lunches," he'd set to it with no consideration at all for how _weird_ the resulting device might be.

Even in a very low-tech fandom, like Elfquest, where all the characters have the same access to resources, individual personality traits would make a difference. Leetah is known to be kinky ("Does she do… **that** … every time?!!!" "Uh uh. If she did, I'd be nut-mash. Couldn't even walk, let alone be chief!") and, as a healer, is hyper-aware of sensations and their effects on the body. And she's good friends with a treeshaper; she might convince Cutter to try a specially-shaped wooden plug, and wear it on a long ride. Tyleet has a fascination with humans, and might have an interest in human devices; she could revel in the feeling of a metal chain sliding against her skin, hidden from view because, while the elves have no shame about sex, many of them don't condone any connection to humans. Strongbow, on the other hand, is not likely to be prone to experimentation; he keeps to the ancient traditions and prefers "the now of wolf-thought"—exclusive focus on the task at hand, whatever that is. The mixed sensations of hunting and erotic stimulation might not appeal to him.

Choosing characters is just as important as choosing sex toys. Some characters wouldn't touch some toys; some would explore all possible uses with intense fervor. Some characters would be tentative about enjoying the toys; some would be enthusiastic. The story can't just be about the toy—it has to also be about who's wearing it, and how & why, and what they do because of it.

##  Special details

The final aspect I'm going to bring up is the unique, non-historical aspects of a fandom. Magic, special technology, psychic powers, nonhuman sentient races, exotic flora and fauna, mutant powers, low/zero gravity, divine intervention, different senses, time distortion, strange drugs—many low-tech fandoms have plenty to make up for the lack of silicon dick-shaped accessories.

Discworld is almost modern in its available technological resources, and it has some kinds of magic. It also has plenty of nonhuman races with their own customs and biology; troll sex toys would be considered torture devices by humans. Elfquest has telepathy, and some elves have 'shaper abilities; they could fashion very detailed toys out of wood or stone, or perhaps other materials. Pirates of the Caribbean has cursed gold, a semi-magical map, and a compass that doesn't point north; it could also have The Girdle Of Enhanced Pleasure (rumoured stolen from the madame of a famous brothel in Singapore).

Magic is the most common low-tech special feature. It runs the range from subtle, obscure influences (PotC) to slapstick comedy (Discworld, Xanth). High fantasy worlds like Valdemar and Merlin have wizards who could create spells or enchanted items for erotic purposes. A plug that vibrates in the presence of one's enemies. ("Why does the prince keep holding meetings with the counselors who hate him?") A cord that tightens at a word. A corset that tingles when the wearer laughs.

Some fandoms have psionic powers, which are sometimes interpreted as magic by the characters: Elfquest, Valdemar (which has both "magic" and "mind-magic"), and Darkover all have telepathy and some types of telekinesis. While the telepathy doesn't tie to sex toys (except that someone unexpected might notice them being worn), the TK could be used to shape toys in ways not normally available, and sometimes to manipulate them once they're in place.

Some fandoms aren't exactly low-tech but former-high-tech: Darkover, Pern, the Sime/Gen series, Barrayar in the Time of Isolation, some hexes on the Well World, Riverworld, the Xenogenesis trilogy, others. Lost colonies, post-apocalyptic societies, worlds with low-tech rules enforced by a higher power (often aliens). Those bring in the possibility of higher-tech sex toys, or an awareness of erotic explorations that low-tech-on-earth cultures didn't have.

Other fandoms have nonhuman characters—what might Temeraire wear under his harness to make his flights more … enjoyable? Would he even tell Lawrence why he's asking for the change to the design, or just say "the Chinese dragons use this to enhance their wing muscles for long flights?" Chalker's Well World has over 1500 races, half of which are carbon-based & can communicate with each other (more or less); there's opportunity for a thriving business in toys designed for all sorts of anatomy, and a clever entrepreneur could look for materials in one hex that are particularly arousing to natives of another very distant hex. Pre-Surak-era Vulcans have mind melds and ponn farr; did the women develop tools to help them control their partners' drives?

The immortals in Highlander can't die (well, they can, but they get better), and they seem to regenerate from small injuries (or they'd be masses of scars), so they can experiment with objects & actions that would be dangerous for normal humans. Lord of the Rings is full of as nonhuman races; fanon is free to create elaborate fantasies about their sex lives… maybe they go into heat; maybe there's a device that makes them more fertile; maybe they have erogenous zones that can be triggered by accident. The issue expands from "what sex toys could they wear under clothing," to include "what would count as a sex toy?"

Which is pretty much the whole point.

Sex toys under clothing are secret, personal devices. Every person, every fictional character, has different tastes, different tolerances—one person's itchy nuisance is another's tool for spending the day half-moaning on the brink of orgasm. And low-tech fandoms have plenty of opportunities to tease & arouse your favorite characters with hidden kinky toys.

##  Q&A

**Q:** What other materials could be used for sex toys under clothing?  
 **A:** Feathers. Paper maché. Clay. Thorns. Fuzzy leaves. Sinew. Woven cloth. Fur. Lace. Coconut shells. Shark's teeth. Eggs. Snakeskin. Crystals. Horns of various creatures. Seed pods. Lobster claws. Amber. Giant insect wings. Bamboo. Spider silk. Oosik. Tree bark.

**Q:** Howcome this is almost all about genitals, ass and nipple devices? Don't you know those aren't the only erogenous zones?  
 **A:** When I get tired of thinking about devices for genitals, asses and nipples, I might get around to writing about hidden ankle jewelry with a braided strap under the foot that twists with each step. In the meantime, feel free to adapt the general ideas to other locations or nonhuman body types as befits your fandom  & kinks. Primitive Thermian sex toys were just a little beyond my scope this time.

**Q:** All very well and good, elf, but what do I *do* with all this info? Where's the stories?  
 **A:** What, the seven prompts in the intro weren't enough? Okay, then: 13 plotbunnies in different fandoms; mix-n-match at will:

  1. **Highlander** : During the Inquisition, Methos kept aware of political trends and remained incognito by running a clandestine business of adapting torture devices for monks' personal use.
  2. **Land of the Lost (TV series)** : Will's starting to look at Holly because she's the only girl around, and that's just *wrong*, so he makes something to keep himself from getting hard around her. Or at least to keep from showing it. Trouble is, he's starting to like wearing it.
  3. **Robin Hood** : One of the Merry Men has found a new & unique use for chicken drumstick bones. They wouldn't mind, really, except that he keeps putting the remains in the same place and it's starting to draw dogs to the camp.
  4. **Elizabethan (historical)** : Queen Elizabeth's courtiers insisted that she wear some kind of chastity belt, for her safety, whenever she met with unmarried foreign princes. So she did. She just didn't tell them how it was constructed.
  5. **Elfquest** : Leetah tells Shenshen that, in order to become a midwife, she'll need to learn her own body's sensations and limits to empathize with and help others giving birth. To help Shenshen learn internal muscle control, Leetah gives her a stone wand and tells her to practice until she can keep it inside for a full day. (Inspired by [this](http://www.goodvibes.com/display_product.jhtml?id=1-3-BF-0102). NSFW.)
  6. **Valdemar** : Two Herald-trainees play around with riding crops ("can't use them on the Companions, so what else are they good for?") and discover they can wear them inserted, stuffed under their clothes & strapped to one leg. They make a bet to see who can wear it the longest. Their Companions make their own bet: to see which of them can convince their rider to remove it first.
  7. **Bible** : David convinces Jonathan that his amazing skill with the sling comes from imbuing it with his manhood by wearing it under his clothes.
  8. **Arabian Nights** : Everyone knows about the genii of the lamp, and some are aware of the genii of the ring… more obscure by far is the genii of the wand, who only manifests when the entire wand is held at human body temperature.
  9. **High Fantasy Gaming** (Yrth, Greyhawk, Glorantha, etc.): A nobleman (duke, prince, earl, etc) has come into possession of a magical string of pearls that allows him to detect all lies told in his presence—while he keeps it wrapped three times around his penis. The council meetings have gotten very uncomfortable for a lot of people (for several reasons), and they've hired a band of adventurers to buy, steal, or destroy the item.
  10. **Don Quixote** : Quixote discovers that a small stone statue of the Virgin Mary, worn in a particular place, helps keep him reminded of both his holy mission and his love for Lady Beatrice while he's riding through the countryside.
  11. **Lord of the Rings** : One of Aragorn's wedding gifts from Legolas is a complex array of fine chain, silver rings, and oddly-shaped silver pieces with inlaid gemstones. When he shows it to Arwen, she blushes & refuses to explain it to him.
  12. **Fairy Tales** : Once upon a time, a king had three sons, and each of them was given at birth a magical item of great power. The eldest had gauntlets that would grip and hold at a word, the middle son had an hourglass that stopped time when held on its side, and the youngest had a rope that couldn't be cut or untied except by its owner. They set out to woo the same princess…
  13. **Pirates of the Caribbean** : Captain Jack Sparrow's been arrested, and in the course of a search, his hidden stash is discovered. Trying to keep his money, Jack tries to convince the guard that the roll of coins wrapped in wax isn't bribe resources; it's got a more sensual purpose.



**Q:** Was that an attempt to get people to write fic for you, or are you angling to convince the [](http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/)**kink_bingo** mods that plotbunnies are a fanwork in their own right, and enough of them should be considered an entry?  
 **A:** I admit nothing. * _shifty look_ * Go write some fic.


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